One Year Later

It has been a year since I returned home from Germany. It's been a crazy one, but I survived...and when I say survived, I mean that I am no longer living life just going through the motions. I can feel again. I guess you could say I was numb... numb to both good, and bad feelings. That being said, everything I feel isn't always a good feeling but I will take it over feeling nothing at all. It is kind of like a deep tissue massage. It might be painful at the time but it is necessary to get the knots out. 

Looking back over the past year I see that I have come a long way. It may not seem like it from an outsiders perspective... I am still going to school and living with my parents but the progress is on the inside. I have really grown personally in a way that I never thought possible. I am starting to think less, step out of my comfort zone a little more everyday, and I am seeing that the world is not such a scary place after all. Fear has been the ultimate ruler of my life for a long time, but I am finally figuring out how to fight back. The battle against fear is not over, nor will it be anytime soon, but I refuse to ever let it completely take over my life again. Cheers to another year!

Living

Yesterday I did something I haven't done in years. I went skateboarding. I know, you are probably wondering.."Aren't you a little old for that?" or as my mom put it "you are going back to that huh?" Well no, I am not "going back to that" but I am going back to living life. Looking back I am starting to realize that at some point I stopped truly living and just started going through the motions of life. I was on autopilot and failed to realize it until now.

Life is getting real. In the past I got caught up in how I thought "I should" be living. I hung up my skateboard and got married. I thought that is what you do when you become an adult...you stop having fun and "grow up". Little did I know that not only is there room for fun in your adult life, but it is a necessity. What is the point of life if you can't have any fun? For the first time in a long time, I put all my worries aside and headed to the skatepark with my old skate buddy Ben. Holy high school memories.

I may not be the skater I once was, but going skateboarding yesterday held so much more meaning than it used to. The piece of wood that was under my feet felt a little foreign at first, but I could still control it, just as I realized I had re-gained control of my life. Yep, I am a 25 year old woman on a skateboard.... so what?

I never really knew what it felt like to live life in the moment. I was always looking forward or backwards, but now, I think it is pretty safe to say that I am living life in the moment and the possibilities seem endless. I am excited about life. I am still learning from the past, but I am enjoying the present, and excited for the future.

Striving for Perfection

First week of school down, and only 10 to go. It seems like a long time but I know the weeks will go by fast. They always do.

I am taking World Cuisine and Latin Cuisine this quarter. I have one chef instructor that is the same as last quarter she is awesome and I am glad to have her again. The other instructor for Latin is a new one which made me a little nervous, but so far he seems like a cool guy. He is from Israel, is a retired captain of the Israeli army, and graduated from the Culinary Institute of America. He knows his stuff and he loves to talk about it. He is light hearted and funny, but then also reminds us that no one is as serious as he is when it comes to food.

Thursday, on our first day of class, he talked for over an hour on his background, what he expects, and information on Latin cuisine. We didn't get to start cooking until about 4:30pm. In his thick accent he said to us "I am going to keep talking so that you feel the pressure. If I didn't pressure you I would be doing you a disservice. So those of you doing the Mole Verde today, as soon as I stop talking you will be needing to start running like a chicken with no head." Yep, that was me.

Although I definitely had to run in order to get all my ingredients, get my beans on the stove, and get the pork cooking I was able to pull it off without any problems. He spent a lot of time critiquing each group. Keeping our food warm until he came to critique our group was the biggest hurdle of the night considering he came to us last. Our groups food came out great, and I was the only one that didn't have raw beans in my mole. Although it is common sense, no one cooked their beans before putting them in their dish. Duh. Go me, I used my brain. Woohoo.

My new goal is to really take advantage of every chance I get to cook something new, and to cook as often as possible. Practice makes perfect right? I don't know how perfect food can get considering so much of it depends on preference but I would like to get as close as I can--this also means not being afraid of failure which is something I struggle with.

Cheers to a new quarter!

R.I.P. Grandpa

Both my blog and I have had a birthday since I last posted. My blog is now two years old, and I...well lets just say I am a little older. I also attended my grandpa's funeral since I last wrote.

My Grandpa's death has been something I have been afraid of since I was a little kid. Ever since I found out what cigarettes were and saw him smoking one, I immediately began to worry he wasn't going to be around much longer to come visit, make us laugh, or hear his deep voice echo through the house at the ass crack of dawn. I wanted him to live as long as he could...I loved him. I am a weird kid like that--worrying about other people dying and all. The weird thing is though, I still worry about people in this way. I don't think anyone really understands it...hell, I am not sure I do, but all I know is that I just want to keep the people I love around me for as long as I can. This is why I get anal and annoying when it comes to eating healthy food. If I bitch and moan to you about your food choices...guess what? It just means I love you, and that I want you to be around for as long as possible. I can't help it.

On second thought, maybe I should just start smoking, stop exercising, eating junk food, and drinking so that I will have everyone around me forever, which wouldn't end up being so long. Guess that would just be a long drawn out way of comitting suicide. Mmm no thanks.

Back to my Grandpa- He ended up sticking around for awhile. His visits were less frequent once he moved back down to Southern California but he still drove up to visit on occasion. He made it to a few basketball and soccer games, and my wedding. When he wasn't really up to the drive of coming to visit anymore I always looked forward to visiting him and my grandma. Visiting was always entertaining... the relationship between my grandma and grandpa was definitely a love hate relationship.

I really wish I could express my grandpa's sense of humor, but it is too unique to express through a blog. He created his own catch phrases that got picked up by other family members and passed down through generations.

Unfortunately my Grandpa did end up passing away from cancer. He made it to and older age than the average American male but I can't help but wish I had him around longer. Cigarettes suck. My grandpa however, was one cool cat.

R.I.P. Grandpa I miss you already

Bizarro World

I don't know what kind of Bizarro world I have somehow stumbled into...or why everything is suddenly seeming to go right. I have spent nearly this whole month floating in the clouds...and I don't want to come down anytime soon.

I think I have finally found a way to speak without ever having to open my mouth--through cooking. I have been able to express myself more than ever just through food. With cooking becoming my way of communication, it has also led me to meeting some really awesome people recently, and I am more inclined to actually physically open my mouth and speak when in the past I would choose to keep it shut. I guess you could consider cooking my conversation starter.

The most baffling thing to me recently is just seeing all of the puzzle pieces of my life starting to fall into place. There were so many things I was angry about, or confused by, but now I see some of the reasoning behind it and thank God for it everyday. 

I have a lot of updating to do on this blog...I have been kind of completely neglecting it, but for now I just want to leave it at the fact that at this moment, I am thankful and content.


I would also like to leave you with this clip in case you don't know what Bazarro world is.

My First Vegan Rant

 I have to rant.. First. Watch this video...

Vegan vs. Meat Diet

Did you watch it? All of it? I hope you did...and let me start off by saying...that I am really proud of The Doctors on this one for standing their ground...more specifically Dr. Lisa. Jillian kind of got cut off at the end but she is right on track with the grass-fed beef and etc. the look on her face throughout the video kind of lets you know exactly what her opinion is. So here is where my rant begins.

First off..I am sick and tired of diets that are not Vegan being considered as "lacking in nutrients" and vegetables. There are two sides of the spectrum. There are your unhealthy muffin-loving, cake-baking vegans that are addicted to sugar and chex mix, and then there are your vegans that really do eat whole foods and and are truly following a plant based diet. The same goes for a "meat based" ( I don't even like that term. ) diet. There are those who follow the standard American diet filled with processed foods, fast food...you name it--they eat it. Then, there is the "meat based " diets that I would like to rename balanced plant based diets. I think I eat more vegetables than most vegans yet I still eat grass-fed beef, organic free-range chicken, fish, and eggs. Just because you are vegan doesn't mean you are healthy, and it is more than just the Vegan Vs. Meat Eaters debate that we need to look at.. in reality, the people who are the healthiest are those who stick to eating REAL FOOD. Food that is closest to it's original form. 

I had an experience closest to Jillians story. She tried to go vegan but she felt terrible..if you would like to read my story please go here. Dr. Wendy also talked about her experience with becoming anemic on a vegetarian diet. And Dr. Barnard follows up by saying that the milk in her vegetarian diet is the cause of her anemia...however, he is talking about conventional dairy and gives absolutely no mention of raw organic dairy from grass-fed cows.

The second part about this segment I would like to address is that this doctor pulls out a BMI chart study to prove that Veganism is "healthier." If you are even remotely involved in the health and fitness world you will already know that the BMI chart is very unreliable. Here is why: BMI takes in account your height to weight ratio. However, lets say you are a body builder. If you calculate your height to weight ratio using the lovely BMI chart you will most likely be put in the overweight category because you are carrying around extra weight..but that weight is coming in the form of muscle, not fat. The BMI chart does not take this into account. This doctors chart shows that Vegans are most likely to fit into the healthy weight category. BUT in my opinion that is because many vegans are lacking muscle. It seems that this doctor has never heard of the term "skinny fat" and relates health to "thinness". Thin, does not mean healthy Dr. Barnard. Vegans could very well be on the lighter side if they don't exercise and don't carry around much muscle.Then he pulls out the diabetes chart. So here is the chart that proves everything...but not exactly. Vegans are least likely to be diabetic, however, they are more likely to be younger...then count in the vegans that actually follow a true plant based diet and you have yourself proof that a vegan diet is the only way to beat diabetes. Instead of making a comparison between variations of the standard American diet and plant based vegan diet, how about we get a chart comparing followers of a Paleo diet, WAPF diet, Medditeranian diet, the standard American diet, and the junk food vegan diet ( Mmmm boca burgers and vegan french fries ). It makes me want to scream because of the way that these studies are presented on a chart and how it skews information to the public. I want to stress so badly the importance of people not just jumping into a vegan diet without doing their research. And as for dietary recommendations..the first foods out of this doctors mouth is brown rice and spaghetti. Brown rice and spaghetti have next to no nutrients. Good call Doc.

Again, Jillian's comment about going vegan and then feeling terrible. Have you noticed Jillian's physique? She is very muscular, lean, and fit. She needs more protein than your average Joe that might get in a 30 minute walk on their lunch hour. So perhaps, veganism is not well suited for people who strength train or have a mesomorph body type. 

One of the biggest arguments about the Vegan diet is that not getting enough protein is a "myth." Yes, this might very well be a myth but the real myth is that all the protein that you are eating is getting absorbed. Truth is, on paper it might show that your diet consists of enough grams of protein but it might not be getting completely absorbed by the body. Your body has to do a lot more work when your protein is all plant based compared to eating complete proteins from foods such as chicken, or fish. 

I think I am done ranting for now... but please. I beg you. If you are thinking about going vegan..especially for health reasons, I would explore other options. To all the Vegans that might read this...I still love you.

American Regional

It's hard to believe that I am already going on week 3 of this new quarter at school. It is going by so fast. Not only is it going by fast, but I am absolutely loving this class. I am taking American Regional Cuisine, which as you could probably figure out from the name- studies the cuisine across America. I know, you are probably thinking "American food? Doesn't American food suck? Isn't Jaimie Oliver trying to revolutionize our food?" Think again. Our food didn't always suck. Think pre-processed, pre- fast food America. What are we left with? You are about to find out. ( in case you really care ) Here is a little bit of what culinary school is like if you have ever wondered what it is we actually do. This is a clip straight from our class syllabus.
( Blog continues after the syllabus )

Weekly Outline:

                        Week 1

	Lecture:		Overview of the History and Development of New England
Lab:		Day 1, Menu 1:  New England Clam Chowder   Marinated Zucchini & Tomato Salad New England Boiled Dinner Peach and Blueberry Cobbler + clams casino from menu 2 Week 1 Due: Day Two:       Print out the last page of the syllabus, sign it, and bring it to class.       Print out instructions for the Indigenous Food report from doc.sharing, bring to class. Day 2, Menu 2: Cod Cakes with Tartar Sauce Roasted Turkey Roulade with Giblet Gravy Cranberry Sauce Green Beans with Fried Onions Glazed Turnips Mashed Sweet Potatoes Gingerbread
Homework:		Week 1 Homework:       Journal- New England       Quiz on New England       Put together the Notebook/Journal Binder       Prepare Weekly Recipes
		Week 2
Lecture:		Overview of the History and Development of the Mid Atlantic
Lab:		Day 1, Menu 1: Spicy Crab Soup with Crab Puffs Egg, Cucumber, and Tomato Salad Buffalo Chicken Wings Roast Duck with Garlic and Honey (sub doc.sharing recipe for duck with cherry) Roasted Potatoes and Pearl Onions Applesauce Cake and Caramel Glaze (1/2 recipe!) Week 2 Due: Day One:       Journal on New England       Quiz on New England Day 2, Menu 2: Vichyssoise Beets, Belgian Endive, and Feta Salad Scallops with Mushrooms and Asparagus Croquette Potatoes Potatoes Parmentier Green Beans Spaghetti Squash Ginger Pound Cake with Warm Cranberries Week 2 Due: Day Two:       Journal/Notebook Binder
Homework:		Week 2 Homework:       Journal- Mid-Atlantic       Quiz on Mid-Atlantic States       Prepare Weekly Recipes
		Week 3
Lecture:		Overview of the History and Development of the South
Lab:		Day 1, Menu 3: Watermelon & Watercress Salad with Shallot-Citrus Dressing Fried Green Tomatoes with Blue Cheese and Roasted Red Pepper Sauce Southern Fried Chicken with Cream Gravy Pan-Roasted Butternut Squash and Turnips Peach Cobbler + prep the pork for the pulled pork sandwiches Week 3 Due: Day One:       Journal on Mid-Atlantic States       Quiz on Mid-Atlantic States Day 2, Menu 2: Hoppin’ John Salad with Pecan Vinaigrette Sweet Onion Tart with Roasted Tomato Sauce and Green Onion- Basil Oil Shrimp Perloo Carolina Pulled Pork Sandwich Sandwich Slaw Potato Salad Banana Pudding
Homework:		Week 3 Homework:               Journal on Southern Cuisine       Quiz on Southern Cuisine       Indigenous Food report (due week 4 day 2)       Prepare Weekly Recipes
		Week 4
Lecture:		Overview of the History and Development of the Cuisine of Florida
Lab:		Day 1, Menu 1:  Black Bean Soup Ceviche of Shrimp and Floribbean Slaw Chicken with Tamarind Ginger Sauce Stewed Pink Beans Stuffed Chayote with Tomatoes, Mushrooms and Cheese Candied Sweet Potatoes Week 4 Due: Day One:       Journal on Southern Cuisine       Quiz on Southern Cuisine Day 2, Menu 2: Key West Conch Chowder Hearts of Palm Salad Pan Seared Grouper with Black Bean, Jicama, and Corn Relish Tropical Fruit Salsa Corn Custard Key Lime Pie Week 4 Due: Day Two:       Indigenous Food report due
Homework:		Week 4 Homework:       Journal on Floribbean Cuisine       Quiz on Floribbean Cuisine       Prepare Weekly Recipes
		Week 5
Lecture:		Overview of the History and Development of Cajun and Creole Cuisine
Lab:		Day 1, Menu 1: Chicken and Andouille Sausage Gumbo (sub gumbo recipe on doc.sharing) Tomato and Haricot Vert Salad Fried Fish with Pearly Meal and Remoulade Sauce Crawfish Etouffèe Boiled Rice Smothered Okra Bread Pudding with Whisky Sauce Week 5 Due: Day One:       Journal on Floribbean Cuisine       Quiz on Floribbean Cuisine   Day 2, Menu 2: Red Beans and Rice Green Salad with Vinaigrette Baked Cheese Grits Braised Beef Daube Glazed Carrots Sugar Snap Peas Fried Oyster Po Boy Pecan Pralines
Homework:		Week 5 Homework:       Journal on Cajun and Creole       Quiz on Cajun and Creole Cuisine       Prepare Weekly Recipes
		Week 6
Lecture:		Overview of the History and Development of the Cuisine of the Central Plains
Lab:		Day 1, Menu 1: Wisconsin Cheddar and Beer Soup Beet and Apple Salad with Horseradish Vinaigrette Planked Whitefish with Green Onion Butter Mashed Celeriac and Potatoes Pickled Pearl Onions Sautéed Green Beans and Cherry Tomatoes Brownie Pudding Cake + prep ribs for day 2 & soak beans Week 6 Due: Day One:       Journal on Cajun and Creole       Quiz on Cajun and Creole Cuisine Day 2, Menu 2: Barley Beef Soup KC BBQ Ribs Steak Fries Cannellini Beans with Tomatoes and Basil Roast Chicken with Wild Rice, Walnuts, and Dried Fruit Stuffing Winter Vegetables with Thyme, and Broccoli Florets + Sour Cream Coffee Cake from menu 3
Homework:		Week 6 Homework:       Journal on Cuisine of the Central Plains       Quiz on Cuisine of the Central Plains       Begin Menu Planning Project       Prepare Weekly Recipes
		Week 7
Lecture:		Overview of the History and Development of Tex-Mex Cuisine
Lab:		Day 1, Menu 1: LBJ Pedernales Chili Jalapeno Cornbread Crab Quesadillas with Green Chili Chutney Lone Star Chicken-Fried Steak with Cream Gravy Mashed Potatoes Black-Eyed Peas Mexican Wedding Cookies Week 7 Due: Day One:       Journal on Cuisine of the Central Plains       Quiz on Cuisine of the Central Plains Day 2, Menu 2: Caldo de Res (sub recipe from doc.sharing) Pork Flautas Guacamole Pico de Gallo Shrimp Tacos with Green Chili Sauce Cheese Enchiladas Arroz a la Mexicana Refried Beans Flan
Homework:		Week 6 Homework:       Journal on Tex-Mex Cuisine due       Quiz on Texas and Tex-Mex Cuisine       Menu Planning Project (due week 8 day 2)       Prepare Weekly Recipes
		Week 8
Lecture:		Overview of the History and Development of the Cuisines of the Southwest and Rocky Mountains
Lab:		Day 1, Menu 1: Tortilla Chips, Salsa Fresca, and Tomatillo Salsa Poblano and Potato Soup with Tortilla Chips Marinated Quail on Spinach Salad Pumpkin Seed Crusted Trout Calabacitas con Maize Annatto Rice and Queso Fresco Tres Leches Cake + sopaipillas recipe from doc.sharing (not from the book) Week 8 Due: Day One:       Journal on Tex-Mex Cuisine due       Quiz on Texas and Tex-Mex Cuisine Day 2, Menu 2: Grilled Vegetable Gazpacho Spicy Pork Empanadas with Marinated Dried Bean Salad Colorado Lamb Shoulder with Cilantro Pesto and Jalapeno Preserves Broccoli with Candied Pecans Fingerlings with Parsley-Basil Dressing Lemon Chess Pie Week 8 Due: Day Two:       Menu Planning Project
Homework:		Week 7 Homework:       Journal on Cuisine of the Southwest       Quiz on the Cuisines of the Southwest       Prepare Weekly Recipes
		Week 9
Lecture:		Overview of the History and Development of the Cuisine of California
Lab:		Day 1, Menu 1: Chilled Avocado and Cucumber Soup Warm Scallop Salad with Tomato, Mind, and Lime Dressing Sautéed Duck Breast with a Port Wine Reduction Monterey Jack and Green Chile Polenta Fried Fennel Creamed Spinach + Strawberry Shortcake from Menu 2 + make sponge for the focaccia Week 9 Due: Day One: (drop box them)       Journal on Cuisine of the Southwest       Quiz on the Cuisines of the Southwest Day 2, Menu 3: Dilled Carrot Soup Caesar Salad Hangtown Fry San Francisco Cioppino Kiwifruit and Grape Rice Pudding + Rosemary Focaccia (from “other recipes”- California chapter)
Homework:		Week 9 Homework:       Journal on California       Quiz on California       Prepare Weekly Recipes
		Week 10
Lecture:		Overview of the History and Development of the Cuisine of the Pacific Northwest and Hawaii
Lab:		Day 1, Menu 1: (The Pacific Northwest) Red Lentil Soup with Sweet Onion Marmalade Mussels in Thai Curry Coconut Broth Pear and Hazelnut Salad with Oregon Blue Cheese Sautéed Halibut with Warm Apple and Dried Cherry Compote Gai Lan and Crispy Garlic + Chocolate Flourless Cake with Coffee Crème Anglaise from Menu 3 Week 10 Due: Day One:       Journal on California       Quiz on California Day 2, Menu 1: (Hawaii) Ahi Poke Spam Musubi Daikon Cakes with Salad Greens and Spicy Plum Dressing Saimin with Teriyaki Meat Sticks Char Su Deep-Fried Calamari Salad Pineapple Fritters with Maui Mango Sauce
Homework:		Week 10 Homework:       Journal on Pacific Northwest & Hawaiian Cuisine       Quiz on Pacific Northwest & Hawaiian Cuisine       Prepare for Final Exam- recipes and timeline       Prepare Final Notebook & Journal- print, organize, and professionalize
		Week 11
Lecture:		FINAL EXAMs
Lab:		Final Practical Exam Individual Student Cooking Test 4 Courses – 2 portions Soup, Salad, Entrée, Dessert – Chef assigns from the Textbook –
		Lab Cleaning

If you actually looked at the syllabus ( unlike a real student ) then you will see that not only does America have amazing food, but we also have real homework. Who knew culinary school was more than just cooking? Well it is, but I love it.
Another awesome detail about this class is that our chef instructor is awesome. She is way more relaxed than our last instructor--who loved to single people out in front of the whole class for things that we really didn't know any better. I narrowly escaped ever being singled out in front of the class but that doesn't mean that I didn't want to vomit just thinking about the possibility. I am not afraid of this instructor, and her food critiques are a lot more detailed and attention oriented. She has a way better pallet and has a taste for things other than salt. ( For our lass instructor you had to salt things according to how you would eat it, and then salt it some more. ) I guess you could say she is a tougher grader, but I like that--it is necessary for improvement, and it is always done in a constructive way.



So who's coming over for dinner?